I dressed as a pirate for an entire week

I dressed as a pirate for an entire week


Irritating voice irritating pointless video. (a couple of minutes I wasted) goes to show. People will watch garbage. The results of a spoiled child. I’ve seen This play out with a different childish person. This is so pointless. Honestly, this makes you want to jump off a bridge Yeah, you might actually be right about that one so this all started perhaps like two months ago when I first saw a photo of Keira Knightley in Pirates of the Caribbean and I thought to myself I want to look like that Why don’t more people want to be a pirate and I want a boat. So for the past two months, I’ve been Silently collecting the perfect pieces for a pirate wardrobe All the pieces are thrifted from the jewelry to the shoes. Not the underwear though, because I’m not trying to get pregnant So the first thing we’re doing contact lenses. I mean you’re either blind is Fric or you have to walk the plank I’m pretty sure that’s how Johnny Depp won Pirates of the Caribbean today’s outfit Honestly, it’s a pretty generic pirate outfit if I do say so myself I don’t want to dive head in and like embarrass myself day one. I’m pretty shy in person. So this video is gonna take some Basketball-sized lady nuts if you know what I mean to pull off the exciting part about this outfit though Is that the pants they are thrifted? But they’re also from a Aritzia. Yeah, unfortunately, they do make me look quite thick if you know what I mean But I’m a pirate so emphasis is on looking like I’m gonna steal all your gold. So I think we’re good So yeah Let’s go to school so that Monday was a Monday like any other I had school So I had to mentally prepare myself to not fall asleep in all my lectures that obviously meant that I also had to bake my breakfast pancake before going to school because as much as I’d want to I can’t Take my entire kitchen with me to make me food whenever I please Yes, I got it today. It’s gonna be a good day. If you’re wondering where this jacket came from newsflash It’s from Aritzia, but why am I wearing it? You may be wondering well turned out that the arctic pooped on Toronto that very Monday so I had to bundle up I mean, let’s be honest here Captain Hook is not one to go and build a snowman He’ll probably steal all the snowman’s gold first and then throw him overboard So yeah I went to school and then the meantime Mother Nature upgraded from mild snow dusting that will probably cause a minor inconvenience On the road to “oh my god, you know I’ll be cool if we turned the highways into one giant and McCobb slip-and-slide type of blizzards” Yeah, I was a pretty rough day. Especially when you’re dressed like that. I mean don’t get me wrong I love the snow for some sick reason when I see that everything is covered in ten inches of snow I get excited, but regardless at this point the outfit was still holding up. I need to mention a couple things actually number one the shirt might have actually been made out of paper because it felt like I was Perpetually standing in a freezer the thing held in no heat at all Number two who on earth were these pants made for I know they’re from Aritzia and that should mean that I can’t hate them But find me someone who actually looks good in them and you have yourself Someone even Thanos would fear and number three Buttercup squashes are royally amazing They deserve their own tear on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs right under avocados. Thank you very much I’m here to pillage your village. Good morning my dudes before you dare even have the audacity To say that I’m not taking any of this. Seriously. Let me tell you something yesterday I went on the interwebs and searched up pirate couture and realize that many of the models are actually wearing makeup and I was like, I Can do that too, you know me I don’t wear makeup, but you know, what if it’s for looking like a pirate god damn it I’m going to slather that stuff on thick like I’m literally putting my eczema on the line for this. Do you understand? How much of a sacrifice I’m making yesterday on the ride home from Loblaws? Where I bought this makeup, I had the wonderful idea to test it out You know, I mean, it can’t be that hard. Listen, like it just got everywhere things were flying I looked like I had been a part of the Logan Paul and ksi chicken fight. Why don’t you start with the lips? Because I feel like that’s gonna be easier. How am I supposed to fill in my lips and not go outside the line? Nice to meet you, how did I get it on my nose? What? Okay, now we’re gonna go in with the eye shadow Again, all the photos I saw the models were wearing really heavy smokey eyes So we’re going for I got punched in the face vibe. Oh my god. That’s a lot of fallout No, I don’t want that on my desk. Okay, I only have one brush I’m gonna have to go in with this one to like smooth things out of it Oh My god what have I done? I look terrifying right now. Like I look like the third removed cousin of The Addams Family So the fit for today not gonna lie. It’s a pretty wild one So first off the dress underneath it is a frumpy little lingerie Dress from La Vie on Rose and then I have this peasant top nothing really special about that Then this denim bustier, I think is what it’s called. The bustier is from a brand called sexy kitten Okay, and finally my cowboy boots I know what you’re thinking why is pirating so addictive because they say once you lose your first hand you get hooked Sorry, I searched up bad pirate puns and that came up So don’t let this footage fool you I may appear quite agile, but this whole outfit really was a hassle to manage I really don’t know what pirate would wear this and be able to get anything done I mean you all know I operate on a strict if it doesn’t work during an apocalypse I’m not gonna put it on my body rule. That’s why I have 37 cargo pants So riddle me a more dysfunctional outfit to fight Blackbeard in in other news that Tuesday morning Toronto was still reeling from the blizzard that raved all over it the night before there was a good like five inches of snow on The ground which leads me to my next point. I could not have chosen a worse time to make this video honestly Who let me put on something this dinky in negative ten degree weather like this isn’t cut out for anything remotely snowy mom is it? (ignore my cut out tush that I had to manage for censoring and monitization issues :)) Your fault? Who am I to blame if I get frostbite? Maybe I’ll lose a hand to frostbite and replace it with a hook probably could write it off as a business expense Also forget about working out in this outfit. Yeah I tried that and I felt more incapable than a sunken ship The final thing of importance that happened that day was that I made a cauliflower pizza I know who regurgitate it that if wondering you just substitute the flower for cauliflower and boom carbs are gone with the wind Listen, okay I was skeptical at first that this thing would flop but someway somehow this thing Tasted incredible like definitely one of the top 10 things I’ve ever tasted It was stretchy chewy cheesy and a little bit deadly. I got lost in the pizza sauce, my dude Oh and one more thing if you’re wondering where my makeup went. Yeah, that didn’t last like half a day My skin was screaming at me to get it off so I fought my face in the washroom and ended up looking like a discount Joker or maybe a broke Beetle Juice you choose I Really don’t think I can get down from here. Good morning my dudes. How’s it going? It’s 7:30 Wednesday November 13th today’s outfits kind of exciting so first off the shirt, it’s just this simple Paisley bodysuit the pants though Those are ridiculous like the flare at the bottom My god shiver my timbers what the heck is happening and the shoes. Those are probably my favorite part, too Those are some funky heels like the shape of the toe is really strange. It’s kind of parody I don’t know so a couple of notes on this outfit It was more of a modern pirate look and it was definitely the most wearable one out of the five I wore this week You could definitely pillage a couple towns in this outfit and still make it back in time for supper The only real inconvenience with this outfit was that those pants they were tighter than spandex like wedgies were given But it’s for the look. So I’ll let it slide also. It was on that day that I had an algebra midterm Yes, I was gonna take the test and that outfit. What did you expect? I’m an educated pirate I say please before I steal your gold and thank you. Once I’ve killed you. Actually I have photos of me during the test here’s exhibit a Exhibit B See, how did the test go you may be wondering it went well But the first 10 minutes consisted of me and two tight pants freaking out simply because it’s a midterm and nothing on the page Processed in my brain because of that it was like reading hieroglyphs without glasses. So yeah, just imagine that Good morning, my dudes. So today’s Thursday, November 14. The great thing is I don’t have school today However, I do have a physics midterm to study for I’m almost 90% sure that my physics professor and algebra professor are in cahoots with each other because they’re notorious for Assigning test days that are like one after the other. Yeah uh CIA. Please get on that So let’s just get right into the outfits last two outfits this week They’re inspired by the woman who started this madness herself Elizabeth Swann. So this outfit it’s just a classic You know I don’t really know which movie she wore this outfit in all I know is that that movie made her a butt ton of money So the pants remember how that Jean bustier was by the brand sexy kitten. Yeah Well this time these pants are by the brand Seduction like Who am I trying to impress? I mean guys keep it in your pants And if you can’t just tape it down this shirt. It’s just from Guess so keep guessing how tired I am with this video Jacket it’s just a frumpy old brown pile of fabric sewn together. Guess what happened on Thursday? No, really? What did you think? It’s snowed again, I mean, where is this snow even coming from the aliens like us Canadians? Just can’t get a break Can we this stuff litters our driveways breaks into our homes eats all our food and steals all our gold Pirates of the Caribbean Coming to a Netflix near you. But in all seriousness This outfit was by far the most Comfortable one of the bunch the shirt might have been a little bit too tight for my massive lady guns But for 99 cents, this shirt was a steal the pants They definitely looked the part but they did this really weird thing where they were extremely tight in the front Saggy in the back and flare at the bottom. Like who? what? Why did you make this? which Oompa Loompa design this? Was it the one with or without the brain cell? The only thing I really did that day was study my buttocks off Listen, I love physics I enjoy it quite a bit But I will also be like the millionth person to admit that it’s very hard You have to have all your ducks in a row if you were to understand mutants Jargon, like I’ll have a serving of confusion with the side of relativity. Thank you very much Why am I still doing this? So today my dudes we’re rounding off the week with a banger if you know what I mean? It’s quite a lot. So brace yourselves I found this photo of Elizabeth Swann and my goodness me. It spoke to me on a spiritual level the jacket You’re probably all wondering fine. I’ll come clean. It wasn’t thrifted. I bought it off of Amazon My mother actually loved it for some reason why I don’t know. It’s a men’s jacket And if you look at it from afar, it kind of looks like something Donatella Versace would throw it on the runway after one too many lines of cocaine, but honestly, This is probably my favorite outfit of the entire week because it’s just so awesome And I honestly can’t wait to make a fool of myself walking around campus like this. Oh boy We’re really stepping out on Friday This jacket was something else entire sure the buttons didn’t actually work and the jacket was a men’s jacket But my oh my was it the hardest thing I’ve ever worn like people were not staring at me out of secondhand embarrassment No, they were staring at me because they were scared that I would make them walk the plank So if you’re wondering what happened here, yes, I had a physics exam at 12:30, but you know what? I really don’t think it’s reasonable for you to judge me for going to the grocery store for the second time in one week I’m only three pounds into freshman 15. So I’ve got some bulking up to do Oh and it’s my business if I lose my buttons along the way and you have no right to push them got that at some Point though I did take the physics midterm surprisingly in terms of panic. It went a lot better than my last one I didn’t start sweating like a fountain at my desk when the tests were handed out. So that’s good The last thing I did that day was eat a quest protein bar now I’m proud to admit that I’ve tried every single quest protein bar out there except for the ones with nuts Obviously and I can firmly say that they are in the top 11 best things I’ve eaten in my life Edit as of me filming this I have discovered a flavor that I have yet to try. It’s chocolate sprinkled donut I’ll let you know how that goes Yeah, that tastes like shit, yeah, it was stupendous Like they always are and if you’re wondering whether I ate it in the bathroom because I was embarrassed You’d be correct by then the day was over and the entire week was done too. Although it had been fun I wanted this to be over. I felt like a shipwreck. I was a shipwreck So yeah that happened All I can say is that I came I saw I went And now I expect to be in the 20 25 remake of Pirates of the Caribbean where I play every single part I hope you enjoyed this video my dudes I hope you had as much fun as I did and I hope the weather is treating you well, wherever you are I love you so much. Say spunky stay funky and stay spicy toodles, my dudes

Daniel Ostrander

Related Posts

100 thoughts on “I dressed as a pirate for an entire week

  1. Cece Mags!!!!! says:

    SHE HAS A HYDROOOOOOOO

  2. Rosalee Hornung says:

    The last jacket just screams the musical Hamilton. Honestly, not complaining!!

  3. IIMuniculaII says:

    It's not everyday you see a 18 year old girl dress up as a pirate for a week for university in Canada.

  4. florette says:

    i looked up that Aritzia brand out of curiosity and i was NOT prepared for those prices

  5. Raina Trujillo says:

    2:55 i thought she was eating a bomb at first…

  6. Lyre Songbird says:

    Am I the only one who lowkey wants her to make how to make a cauliflower pizza because damm….the pizza looked real good!!

  7. Mello Iskai says:

    that's nice, joana.

  8. OmqIts Chillaa says:

    I think Elizabeth Swan wore it in black pearl

  9. regretti spaghetti says:

    The way joana says "couture" sounds like a minecraft door opening

  10. Toffee girl* * says:

    People: so how many avocados do you eat every day?
    Joana: YeS

  11. Ciano says:

    Joana's breakfast pancake:

    Joana: A r i t Z i A

  12. Nico The Kitty says:

    of course its from aritzia

  13. IslandSisters Forever says:

    JOANA WE ARE AVOCADO 🥑 BUDDIES I LOVE AVOCADO TOAST >:3

  14. Poppy says:

    I love how she makes subtitles for her videos ❤️

  15. Phoebe says:

    I don’t wear make up – ever… I wore some for a wedding because I was a bride’s made, and that’s pretty much it.
    I love your. 2nd day outfit – but sorry you were so cold.
    Glad the exam went well.
    THursday’s outfit was my 2nd favourite.
    And I agree, Friday’s outfit was pretty awesome looking. =) (they all looked great). =)
    I’m glad the midterm went well.
    This was fun. =)

  16. Sabrina A Bela Ser Humana says:

    Pq o título tá em português e o vídeo tá em inglês?

  17. Katie Cat says:

    This was posted on my birthday…. That's nice.
    Also, JOHN CENNA, be friends with ANJA. >:D
    EhHEHEHEHEHehhhHEHEHEhehheehHehEHheheh

  18. mai māriē says:

    please marry me

  19. Kellie Lonergan says:

    I’m new here, who films these? Dad ?

  20. BibbityBobbity BTS says:

    I’ve been a fan of joana for a long time but like her mom is so Beautiful

  21. Lill Lee says:

    You are the funniest and cutiest to ever exist. It’s over for anyone else. You are the human

  22. Cyper Tv says:

    Just noticed…
    You look like my teachers…🙁

  23. heck idk broskis fake love intro says:

    i got a lingerie ad i blame u

  24. Sofia Smith says:

    does anyone else think shes basically this generations version of jenna marbles. like ma girl got the leisure suit and everything

  25. Lesly Elizabeth says:

    Nov. 14 was my birthday :')

  26. Ian Kennedy says:

    Brasileiros?? Mee

  27. Theater Nerd says:

    I honestly love how you like the hate comments

  28. The_Normal_Weirdo says:

    "I'm HeRe To PiLlAgE yOuR vIlLaGe"

    -Joana Ceddia, 2019

  29. Kennedy says:

    No one:
    Literally no one:
    Not a single soul

    Joana: these are from Aritzia (ik I probably spelled that wrong) so I can’t hate them

  30. Nocashmoney says:

    Dear Joana, I hope you can add Thai subtitle to your videos, as i make video about BANGKOK, THAILAND and i can see teenagers here love your style but poor in English then this idea will be greta for them.

  31. JoyChaos says:

    bruh im just looking at how fine your dad is. im at the age where i can date you or your dad. and im like…..can he bring that giant af avocado with him?

  32. Tori Gullion4sizz says:

    Is no gonna call her mad pirate buns out

  33. Tori Gullion4sizz says:

    “Hmph ya that tastes like shi-“

    Joana-2019

  34. Faaris Future says:

    U dumb piece of SHE-

  35. Rohit Kumar says:

    Man, those little dances you do, is quite cute.

  36. Miko Cauble says:

    Honestly I'd marry you just for the clout.

  37. Ensal725 says:

    You really should remake the pirates of the Caribbean, that’d be awesome

  38. LITTLEDEVILGIRL _ says:

    beautiful

  39. Realsies says:

    Joana she is so hot. Don’t mean to sound creepy but I just had to put that out into the universe.

  40. Giselle’s Life says:

    0:37 Hydroflaskskskskskskskksksksksksksksk

  41. huslen batmunkh says:

    Guys I think she dressed as a pirate

  42. Mr ManHuman says:

    You’re either a pirate, a wizard or a cowboy/outlaw, you cannot be all 3.

  43. Genesis Grace says:

    "guys- keep it in your pants and if you can't just tape it down"

  44. MODUS says:

    “Why don’t more people want to be a pirate?”

    Well being a pirate sucked ass so

  45. Sneaky Master says:

    You know Joana, Johnny deep was fired from his position as jack sparrow for something he didnt do… but still the position is open

  46. Kaiya Van Sant says:

    “I’m gonna dress like a pirate, AND wear lingerie to school“

    -Jaclyn Cosmetics

  47. Svea HP says:

    I love you John Cena bye

  48. Annie M says:

    Minnesota is crushing us with snow too, to I can relate!!

  49. Ms Marss says:

    9:30 made me laugh so hard 🤣

  50. Cassie Newton says:

    I just saw jenna marbles old videos for the first time and i believe John Cena is the jenna of our generation

  51. Camskris says:

    The edit to the socks with sandals JOANA I SCREAMED

  52. JessePinkman420 says:

    im starting to not like you. You look like the dramatic ground hog. Also you can tell the type of greezy person she is by her putting her nasty fucking feet on her poor moms dash. And i have watched all her videos so idk who iam anymore. I was born a hater, what can i say.

  53. hirooou h says:

    Você sabe falar português?

  54. Brittany says:

    There's literally someone who goes to my college who wears a pirate hat every single day

  55. Sophie Martinez says:

    A pirate=John Cena

  56. Nicole Dejusti says:

    So what you're saying is that butternut squash is a higher need than avocados?

  57. Jaiden Leigh says:

    WHY DO ALL CANADIANS PRONOUNCE ECZEMA LIKE THAT

  58. Sydney Mitchell says:

    Ok but why does she have the coolest grocery store like its like the thing she went on to get up to the grocery carts was cool. That was by far the coolest thing I've seen today

  59. Kerri Gacha says:

    I swear that John Cena is the perfect pirate I know.

    PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN WHO?!

  60. Nutter 101 says:

    Your the most hilarious person ever honestly who couldn’t love u 🥰

  61. The dramatic tea says:

    Nice panting
    Bad lipstick skills

  62. The dramatic tea says:

    "The shirt have might have been to tight for my lady guns"
    -Joana Cedia

  63. m skye says:

    this triggered such a deep emotional reaction from the depths of my soul, ,, i used to dress like a pirate everyday in elementary school and not just like. shitty pirate costumes from party city. i owned full blown corsets and frills and vests and boots and i was a mess but i was at least i was ready to walk the plank

  64. prickle flickle says:

    10:54
    look closely 😧

  65. ELLIE says:

    I’ve literally only seen the title and I’m concerned about how much pirate clothes joana has

  66. Diana Mendez says:

    The third outfit = harry styles is shaking

  67. A_Very_Large_ Noob says:

    Great video

    There's nothing else in this comment because the video was legit just that good!

  68. Anna Dougherty says:

    “Keep it in your pants. If you can’t, just tape it down.” 🙌🏻

  69. Maddie D says:

    I love how Joana makes nice planned out meals and I'm eating cold pizza…

  70. Giulliano Sanguini says:

    Dude avocado are so weird and artificial outside brasil oh dear

  71. Giulliano Sanguini says:

    Câncer bar taste like shit what's wrong with world … propaganda it's not … forget it

  72. HuneyBeeXD says:

    Us people that live in Colorado are struggling with the snow 😂
    I’ve seen 6 crashes so far because of the snow.

  73. Emily Micah says:

    Man oh boy did Elizabeth stir my bi heart before I knew I could like girls…

  74. itsmechandler says:

    pleaseeeee do a closet tour queen

  75. Octavios Reaves says:

    wow so this is the week from when she got in a fight over the avocados i-

  76. Hannah Luithle says:

    Literally the second you mentioned cauliflower an McDonalds add startet

  77. Sam Ostara says:

    “I was a shipwreck” i felt that

  78. Tasneem Ahemd says:

    I live in the UAE. It doesn't snow here 🙂

  79. {Sleepy Pikachu} says:

    Yo joana here it hasnt snowed for almost 3 years!

  80. h i says:

    Plz play minecraft 🤡

  81. Gandhino Celestin says:

    You gotta love Florida 😎

  82. Muaz Rana says:

    "I say please before I steal your gold & thank you once I've killed you"
    – Jerome Cekada 2019

  83. Ribbon Chumpy says:

    we didn't even pass the freezing mark yet and you already had 2 snowy days..?! our flowers rebloomed.. wth

  84. ya like jas says:

    okay but honestly how do you find such negative comments i have never seen one in your comments, e v e r

  85. reformed sheep88 says:

    I wanna be a gay space pirate

  86. Biggest Chungus says:

    what in the WORLD is that escalator

  87. unnececelery says:

    my chameleon ate a gecko egg

  88. Niko TV says:

    are you Brazilian? or… i don't know 😗

  89. Izzy Moody says:

    Joana subtlety telling us she wants to be a pirate when she grows up

    :3

  90. Miguel Gonzalez says:

    We vibe.

  91. 카미 says:

    Okay guys I have an idea, reply the most random things to this comment and then I'll edit it and the FBI, CIA AND DMV will be thrown off our tail.

  92. Djenabou 101 says:

    I’m like just now noticing how much Joana has grown and it’s actually kinda scary LIKE SHE LOOKS SO MATURE NOWWWW😭

  93. Ketamine Machine says:

    I wana fuck you so bad

  94. onemessenjah says:

    You’re a gem.

  95. Annanya Singh says:

    I like your confidence! You're such funny girl!

  96. Lucinda Connell says:

    "and if you cant just tape it down" lmaoooooooooooo

  97. sandra g says:

    My birthday week, lol!

  98. mac acc says:

    okay Kiera looks hot as a pirate and i'm so glad you brought that to my attention

  99. Genevieve Wiemer says:

    Joana I happy I ain’t alone u have eczema too but it’s on my hands so winter time SUCKS for me But I’m fine TuT

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *